You. Yes, You

I was born and raised in Nashville, TN.

My mother was raised in Bellevue when it was still rural, and my father grew up in The Nations.

My grandfather moved here from Missouri via Alabama, where he had been a sharecropper. My grandmother adopted Nashville as her home soon after having my father.

My other set of grandparents were born and raised here.

All of my grandparents were dirt poor but devout in their love of God. They took seriously their call to help their fellow man. There is so much about them you do not know.

My dear, sweet wife was raised in the house where I now sit.

Every one of them were (and are) dear souls, who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it. To this day, people stop us on the street, literally in tears, thanking my wife for her gentle, loving care of their loved one at the end of their life.

They weren’t and aren’t perfect, but they were nothing like you are describing.

When you say, “Southerners are this, and southerners are that”, especially when you flat out say “southerners are not nice”, you are attacking my family.

Now, I probably deserve it. I have a tendency to be a jackass. But, I promise you, my jackassery has come about in spite of my upbringing, not because of it.

When your broad brush hits my mother, or my wife, we have a quarrel.

I’m asking you nicely to please stop.

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13 Responses to “You. Yes, You”

  1. Mack Says:

    Slarti, I think you’ve gone ’round the bend, son. No one, absolutely no one that ever utters a phrase like “man, those ___________ are so _________, means that EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT LIVES THERE IS THE SAME. I’m from California, you know, the land of Fruits and Nuts. To my knowledge, I’m not a nut, and I’m pretty sure I ain’t no fruit, (though, I have been tempted by The Rock Solid Husband). Anyway, there are stereotypes out there, some earned, some not…but you would have a difficult time convincing any thinking person that the South hasn’t had its share of problems.

    Maybe you just wanted to front a little, and show the world how much you love your wife…in that case, rock on, brother.

  2. nm Says:

    Slarti, in honor of your wife I will happily rephrase “southerners aren’t particularly nice” as “it is not the case that southerners are particularly nice.” I think you’re sort of bolstering my case for passive-aggressiveness, though.

  3. Mr. Mack Says:

    I think you’re sort of bolstering my case for passive-aggressiveness

    In a nutshell, so to speak.

  4. bridgett Says:

    If I offended, I am sorry.

  5. hbk Says:

    I dunno, if wants to argue that “southerners aren’t necessarily nice” that is pretty difficult to refute. A bastard is a bastard regardless of his or her race/religion/origin.

    On a purely anecdotal note, I have been all over the nation, and danggumbit, southerners are nice. 🙂

    Often wrong, but nice nonetheless.

    Nicer than me anyway.

  6. Warrior Says:

    Slarti, I’ve found, in business dealings anyway, that “niceness” is sometimes just a point of view. In business dealings with southerners (generally), a lot of time is spent in general chit-chat before the business talk begins. Kinda eases the atmosphere before the real work begins. Those of a higher lattitude (generally) tend to get the work out of the way before asking “How’s yer mom and them?” This way they talk without the bother of having to switch to the cumbersome topic of work. You see? One standpoint COULD be seen as frivolous, the other as anal, yet both are considered nice from those delivering the conversation. Jackassedness, however, is universal, and as one who shares the condition, rock on!

  7. Susie Says:

    I would LOVE to know what inspired this post…lol

  8. Katherine Coble Says:

    I believe I said

    “Most native southerners I’ve encountered are NOT nice.”

    There is that qualifier in there. I put it in there precisely because while I was typing out that post I remembered you and Lintilla and CLC and Lynnster and Newscoma and Squirrel Queen and Ginger and a couple of other people and thought “Oh, they’re all nice”.

    Because you are.

    But I have to say that I stand by what I said. Most of the native southerners I’ve encountered are not nice. Because they aren’t.

    Then again, it could just be the places I go and the native southerners who choose to go there.

  9. Katherine Coble Says:

    Actually, make that TWO qualifiers (Most and I’ve encountered). It’s late and my throat hurts.

  10. GingerSnaps Says:

    aw, thanks Kat… 🙂

  11. Aunt B. Says:

    Oh. My. God.

    You know what’s really not nice? Having a response to a conversation but being too big a jerk to either respond to the conversation where the conversation is taking place or by linking to the conversation so that the people having it can include your perspective on it.

    You know what else is not nice? Bearing false witness here on this blog as to what was happening on my blog so as to make yourself into the tough guy hero who is defending his women against the mean old people who are at some mystery place you’re not going to give your readers the courtesy of linking to so that they can judge for themselves whether your response was appropriate, but they just have to take your word for it that your reaction is appropriate and justified.

    And you know what’s really, really not nice? Making people, like Bridgett, for instance, who is also from the South feel so bad for contributing to your being upset–even though it’s completely unjustified (which I suspect you know, or you would have linked in the first place)–that she’s apologizing to you. That makes me about sick to my stomach. Is that the side of right? Making some Southern women feel bad in your efforts to front about how much you want to protect other Southern women?

    And last, the least nice thing is, in essence, talking bad about people behind their backs.

    You want to criticize what’s going on at my blog? Fine. In fact, I welcome it.

    You want to sit on the sidelines and make snarky comments that come at the expense of people being willing to have a conversation on my blog without being willing yourself to do the same?

    Then we have a serious, serious problem.

    How dare you, Slari? Really. Who elected you the police of my blog?

  12. Mack Says:

    Yea, thats MY job…and I’m union.


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