Here’s A Tip: I’m Easily Amused

I’m all excited because I just discovered that my cell phone has a tip calculator.

Not that I would normally need it. When restaurant tipping, our default 20% is easily calculated in the head: take two 10 percents (which most third graders can calculate), and add them together.  Even I can do it.

But there are (rare) times when less than stellar service means will merit a 15% tip.  Although I THINK I can figure it out on the fly (one ten percent + half again), it’s nice to have a little electronic help.  Plus the thing helps you calculate how to split the tip if you have more than one person in your party.  What a neat toy.

IF the waiter slapped my dog and called my momma a Nazi cow, I’d have to lower the tip to 10 percent.  I do not tip below ten percent, ever.  I will not have a person who brought me food, no matter how bad or rude they are, be paid $2 wages for the entire time I am requiring their services.  Your mileage may vary, I just won’t do it.

Which of course, brings us to those everlasting controversies about tipping.  There are always questions:

  1. Would you ever NOT leave a tip?
  2. What are your tipping rules for buffets (assuming the wait staff still bring your drinks)? 
  3. Do you tip the girls at Sonic – and how much? 
  4. Is 10% a decent pizza delivery tip? Or do you just make it a flat 2 or three bucks?
  5. Do you tip more if the waiter/waitress flirts with you? (think Hooters).  Men, if the Hooters waitress takes forever bringing your food, but regularly brushes up against you and leans over the table strategically, do you still tip big?  Be honest.  BTW, women, I was once a waiter.  If you think we men don’t play these games with you (albeit more subtly), you are mistaken.  And you do tip more when we flirt with you.

Anyway, I am so happy to know I have a tip calculator in my cell phone.

Just in case, you know, I ever, like,  go back to Hooters.

6 Responses to “Here’s A Tip: I’m Easily Amused”

  1. Nashville is Talking » Tipping the waiter Says:

    […] calculate how to split the tip if you have more than one person in your party.  What a neat toy. [Here’s A Tip: I’m Easily Amused – Shoot The Moose – 01-29-08] Spread It Around: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]

  2. dolphin Says:

    1. Never. If you don’t leave one, they’ll think you just forgot. If service was ever SO bad (I’ve never had that bed of service) to warrant not leaving a tip, I’d leave a penny, so they’d be clear that I didn’t forget, they just did a terrible job.

    2. 10%. I feel awkward in those situations. On one hand, I think that waiting staff still gets paid a server’s wage so I know the need the tip money, BUT I’m getting my own food and usually buffet’s cost you and arm and a leg to start with.

    3. Don’t go to Sonic, so I wouldn’t know.

    4. I give two bucks.

    5. I’ll tip for a good, friendly personality, and if somebody is being flirtatious, they’re likely letting their personality shine, so I’d say yes. Funny story, there’s a bar/restaurant/club thing around here that is not a gay bar but has a pretty large gay patronage. There’s a cute waiter who works there who I know for a fact is straight, but you should see him turn up the charm when he gets a table of gay men.

  3. nm Says:

    I tip more if the server is friendly to the whole table, but less if the server is flirting. I’m there to talk to my friends/family/coworkers, not the wait-staff. I also lower the tip for each time the server interrupts the conversation at the table to say “can I get that plate out of your way?” I have stopped going to one of the most popular brunch spots in town because they did that three times in under five minutes the last time I was there.

  4. bridgett Says:

    1. Never. Just can’t stiff someone, even if they suck and need to find another line of work because I’ve worked in enough restaurants to know that if the place is mismanaged, a lot of things can appear to be the fault of the waitstaff that have nothing to do with them;
    2. Usually I give a dollar for every person at the table — works out to about 10%;
    3. I don’t tip at bring it to the car places, no more than I’d tip at Dairy Queen when they brought my food from the machine to the counter. Maybe I’m wrong in my reasoning but there you go.;
    4. I give the pizza guy whatever the going rate is for a gallon of gas — but really, we make our own pizza, so this is more of a “what I used to do”;
    5. I like friendly people and probably am influenced more by young women being nice to my kid than by being flirty with me. When men are flirty to her, however, it gives me the willies, especially if they are older.

  5. dolphin Says:

    Sonic workers receive at least standard min. wage. No need to tip them.

  6. Rachel Says:

    I only tip Sonic workers when they put on the roller skates. 🙂

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