Notes From The Locker Room

If TMI (too much information) posts bother you, you might want to click elsewhere.  Except Busy Mom, I owe her a TMI post.

Here at 2/3 point of my weight loss, I took stock today in the locker room.  Here is what I found:

Some old friends have come back to see me: the top “two” of my “six pack”.  The middle two are still under a quarter-inch of fat, and the bottom two under 3/4 inch.  But it’s good to be making headway.  More crunches!

Two old acquaintances left, and I hope they never come back: my “underboobs”.  If you are an overweight man, or the S.O. of an overweight man, you know what I’m talking about.  Just below each man-boob is a fold of fat that, if it had a nipple, could be it’s own boob.  Then you’d be quad-man-boobed. Anyway, bye, bye!

The man-boobs are virtually gone, too.

I finally got the Just For Men to work on my soul patch; the key is to not use a 3-year-old package.  Anyway, now that it’s all dark brown, it looks kind of stupid.  But, I’m thinking about using the same shade on my hair (for fun – not much grey on my head yet).  The hair is getting unwieldy; I’ll have to get it tamed a little bit soon.

Why am I doing these strange things to my hair (and facial hair) ?  I think subconsciously I want to, for once in my life, look a little dangerous.  You know, like the kind of nere-do-well’s the “good girls” always seem to fall for.  Might even get some fake tatoos and piercings.  Is this a mid-life crisis?  Probably.  I’m right on schedule for one.  But I have no intention of leaving my wife, or getting a convertible.  I’m just having a little fun after being straight-laced for so long.

I have a long, long way to go.  But I’ve come so far (30 pounds), and I think it is right to celebrate that. (Just not with a 5-course steak dinner).

Hopefully, within the next couple of months, I’ll lose the other 18 or so pounds.  Then, we go to Fort Myers for our 20th anniversary!


10 Responses to “Notes From The Locker Room”

  1. Eric Lee Says:

    I’ve been trying to lose weight for months…how are you doing it? Got any hints/tips for a slightly obese man?

  2. Busy Mom Says:

    Heh, thanks for sharing!

  3. Nashville is Talking » Sliders and Fries Says:

    […] Congrats! Very inspiring. […]

  4. jag Says:

    Holy moly, 30 pounds? Good going!

  5. Lynnster Says:

    Soul patch? Oh my goodness. Didn’t realize that was going on!

  6. john h Says:

    Congrats, Slarti. I just wish I had a little more warning for the ‘man-boobs’ section, but I’ll live.

    Lynn refuses to give me permission for a mid-life crisis affair, and I can’t afford the car I’d like, so, does the soul patch suffice? Do we dare to eat peaches???

  7. badbadivy Says:

    Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with driving a convertible.

    /had a convertible
    //until my husband traded cars with me
    ///he likes to drive it at night with the top down
    ////so did I.
    /////I have no idea why I’m using fark slashies

  8. Slartibartfast Says:

    Eric – my wife and I are doing it together (I think this is key). Weight Watcher’s “Flex” plan. You don’t have to join WW – you can get a homemade “starter kit” on Ebay. Basically, it works like this: once you determine your target “ponts” total for a week (how to do that is in the starter kit), you stick to that number of “points”, which is a weird combination of calories, fat grams, and dietary fiber. For me, it’s just best to use the guides (and I also have a WW cookbook that gives me points values of every recipe)

    You have 35 “extra” points per week. You can splurge a little every day, or stay true all week and blow your 35 at a Mexican restaurant. BUT, you have to stick with it.

    Exercise: I started with about 15 minutes a day on the treadmill, slow speed. I was REALLY out of shape. I kicked it up a notch every two weeks, and two months in, added weights. Now, I do a 40-minute walk/run (walk for 10, run for 5). The up and down is really good for your heart and circulation.

    You HAVE to do both excercise and diet, IMHO. And drink LOTS of water. at least 3 20-oz bottles. You don’t feel as hungry when you do that.

    As far as weights go, I prefer working out like the women do in toning classes: small weights, longer reps. You’ll feel weird at first, because you’ll want to grap the 50-lb dumbbells. But the woman way gives you better tone and definition, and there’s less risk of tearing something (I’m 42).

    The biggest key is to keep at it, even when you have a stressful week and overeat. Just get back at it. 2 weeks ago, I gained a lb. I got mad, and last week, I lost 4.5 lbs!

    As a good friend of mine once said, “You didn’t gain it all at once, you won’t lose it all at once, either”

    Slow and steady wins the race. Shoot for 2 lbs a week.

    Now, I just need pointers for “maintaining”. I’m really good at losing, horrible at keeping it off.

  9. badbadivy Says:


    It moderated my comment, I think because of all the slashies, can you plz let it free? 😀

  10. newscoma Says:

    30 Pounds is something to celebrate.
    And John, I don’t know why the words “man boobs” tickles me but it does.

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