I need to smile.
It’s only human nature. Were I a new-age type, I’d say my aura has been quite negative lately. I mean no disrespect to those who are hurting anywhere in the world, especially in VA.
But Kat made me laugh out loud with her brazenness, and I’m going to take it a step further. I’ve been meaning to post about this for some time, but the time never seemed appropriate. If I truly want to go into the clergy one day, and if I haven’t already disqualified myself, this should do it. Yet, being a compulsive blogger, a thought is floating around my head, and I have to express it. Here goes.
If you are female, and we have met, there is a good chance I’ve had a conversation with your breasts. You probably know this. No doubt, you are used to this kind of behavior from the male of the species. I can’t speak for anyone else, and I’m sure no males are going to chime in here, because I’m giving away trade secrets.
Most women I know are mystified by this behavior. No straight man is immune. Godly men of the cloth. Buddhist holy men who have spent their entire lives working toward the eliminating desire. Tough guys. Nerds. Hippies and gun nuts, conservative, liberal, rural or urban: every one of us cops a peek.
I once had a woman ask me, “what are men thinking when they do that?” I’ll let you in on a little secret: most of the time, nothing. Believe it or not, unless our stares linger for more than a few seconds, we aren’t thinking “I’d like to sleep with her”. Even with men who have acheived the highest state of consciousness, the highest form of thought that enters the mind is “Look! Boobies!”
Most of the time, I don’t even know I’m doing it. At least at first, then I catch myself and embarrassingly look at my feet. I really struggle with this, I figure it gets me in trouble all around. Neither the religious, nor feminists, are too fond of the objectification of women. I don’t want to be thought of as someone who does that. However, in order for objectification (is that a word?) to occur, conscious thought needs to be involved, doesn’t it?
I can’t stress this enough: it’s instinct.
Granted, there are some Leisure Suit Larry’s out there. Certainly you women can tell the difference, can’t you?
I have three levels of woman-staring (I mean women who are not my wife – there’s a whole other category for her that I do not cover here). Only one of these levels them is sinful, IMHO. The first is the instinctive, which I have covered here. The second is the beauty aspect: the female form is pleasing to the eye. I have yet to meet a female who was not beautiful to behold. The line between this kind of admiration and lust, which is the third kind, is in the thought process. “She is beautiful to behold” is innocent, “I want to bed her” is where it turns to lust, which is what I try to avoid, not always successfully. Most of the time, I can channel that energy toward my wife. Or take cold showers.
But ladies, please forgive us; most of the time we know not what we do.
Women have an equivalent behavior, but I think you get away with it because we are turned away from you when you stare.
I once had an internet discussion with a woman about breast feeding in public. I was on her side, for the most part, till she said something interesting. She said, “you men need to stop sexualizing a body part that isn’t even part of the sex act”.
I told her I had three words for her: Brad Pitt’s butt.
Anyway, I’ve gone everywhere with this. I’m not sure I…