I Really Don’t Understand

I really don’t get it.  What is it about my personality?  Obviously, there’s something wrong with me.  Why can’t I enter a political discussion without someone talking down to me like a child?  Do I have a sign on my back that says “patronize me?”  This is like the 4th or 5th time this has happened recently.  Somebody tell me what I’m doing wrong.  “Nice” does not equal “child-like”.  But then again, maybe it does.

I can handle disagreement.  I can handle personal insult (my original comment in this thread was made in a joking manner – I was not originally offended).  But being talked down to makes me so mad I could spit.

Even made me cuss.

No more politics for a while.  Nobody takes me seriously anyway.

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8 Responses to “I Really Don’t Understand”

  1. hutchmo Says:

    Ah…don’t go away mad..just go away!

    just kidding. I like saying that for some reason.

    Slarti – A point that is made over and over again and needs to be made again (and I’m talking to myself as much as you) is that comic tone doesn’t necessarily translate clearly in comments or post. The silly emoticons and the LOL shortcut came about somewhat because people realized that sarcasm or irony was being missed on a regular basis. I love sarcasm and irony (i’m juvenile that way), but I realize many times my silly points are misconstrued or even totally missed.

    Your comment at B’s place didn’t come across as a ‘joking manner’ when I read it. Once I re-read it, in context with this post and your other comment I got it.

    Knowing your situation, I really thought you were smarting from the comment and were personally offended. I didn’t get laughter.

    I don’t want to come across as the lecturer who chastized you at B’s place, but I’ve always been interested in the correlation between the fierce anti-abortion folks and the death penalty and support for programs that seek to intervene early in a child’s life promoting proper nutrition and learning (WIC and Head Start, for two). Obviously, there are plenty of people who hate abortion and support WIC. There are people who support abortion and the death penalty and a few groups that oppose abortion and the death penalty both. All of these are in the minority according to statistical reports I have studied, and in fact worked on when I was in college.

    The fact is pro-life GENERALLY does have a predisposition of opposition to governmental programs for health care, both prenatal, postpartum and for the child.

    Obviously there are exceptions, but that’s not the point of the post overall. I hope I’m not coming across as too pedantic or looking down here. You know I admire you and consider you a friend.

    I just don’t see the value in retreating back here and stating that nobody takes you seriously. I think you know that’s not true, and I also know that you put a lot more of ‘yourself’ out there than I (and many others) do.

    You can engage. My hopefully not patronizing advice is to be clearer when you are going for irony or humor. Not everybody likes their humor dry.

    On the other hand, your transparency is something to be admired. Now get out of the blog-closet and stop feeling sorry for yourself! (o;

    your friend in Salemtown

  2. Sharon Cobb Says:

    Or, maybe it’s time to change your playmates and playground.
    Not everyone plays rough. Sometimes what you’re used to seems normal because you’re used to it, but it’s anything but normal or healthy.

    There is an entire world of political and social bloggers whom you’ve never posted to who are intelligent and civilized and above all else, not mean.

  3. newscoma Says:

    Slarti,
    I don’t know where to start because I don’t want to piss you off, but as your buddy and someone I respect, I’m torn.
    First of all, let me say this. I can write a post about Bigfoot and get a ton of comments. Paris Hilton, and I have a damn good blogtopia day.
    Second of all, I can write an insightful (or at least I think so) about politics) and I can hear crickets chirping six miles away.
    Stop. It. I mean that with respect. To say you aren’t going to write or comment about politics because of whatever reason is sort of nutty because you do get a great deal of feedback. We all have responded and we have a great deal respect for you.
    But what are you seeking?
    Sometimes the fact I don’t drive more commentary at my own blog drives me absolutely nuts. You are responded to very well all over the web where you interact and you go into territory that already has a core base of commentators. You are responded to, much more than I am many times.
    Actually, most of the time.
    The blogosphere is a strange, wicked place. You have been accepted as a blogger that does weigh out the issues and you are respected for your thoughtfulness although there is some disagreement. You have been linked on Aunt B.’s post in her section that only has a handful of people quoted.
    You have said in the past you wanted to be taken seriously. YOU ARE. Dang it, you are.
    Maybe, and I mean this with the utmost of respect, that you need to evaluate what kind of response you want in the blog world.
    Because you are getting it, much more than many people get, including people like me.
    Like I said, I will spend hours on writing a respectful, thoughtful post, and I get one or two comments. I am not allowed to comment during the day as my work wigs out over it so I don’t get the feedback that sometimes I desire and crave.
    And you do make people talk and feel the desire to respond.
    As your friend, this post, and I mean it with the utmost respect, was not the Slarti I know and dig.
    Slariti, you are one of the greatest guys I’ve met on the blogosphere.
    So, dear sweet Slarti, don’t do this.
    With much love and honor to you,
    your friend from northwest Tennessee and I hope we are still cool as I am sicker than a dog right now and suffering the insomnia myself to a terrible degree,
    ‘coma

  4. Katherine Coble Says:

    Well, I spent the whole day high, so I wasn’t around. Even if I had been in my right mind I’d have left it alone, most probably.

    As far as abortion goes, pretty much everyone involved in that discussion over at TCP and I disagree. I’ve decided that it’s not worth the larger friendships I have with those folks to have a fight over a topic that ultimately won’t change minds on either side.

    I’m sorry that you’ve come away frustrated and feeling belittled. I’m sure that no one meant you any harm. A lot of passion exists on both sides, to be sure.

  5. Ginger Says:

    Slarti, there isn’t a darn thing wrong with you. Please understand that what Hutch said is so true. Thoughts sometimes do not translate into the written word the same way you would speak them.

    I have misunderstood people to be short (terse) when that is just their writing style. I have been misunderstood as being bitchy when I was actually smiling as I wrote something. That’s just the pitfall of e-mail, IMs, blogging, etc.

    Same with these kinds of situations. People have different writing styles, strong opinions, yadda, yadda, yadda. Mix that in with the reader’s insecurities and you’ve got a recipe for hurt feelings.

    What newscoma said is true, too. You can write a deep post and get a few hits, then write comedy and get tons of hits. Heck, even NiT has off days. Especially during the nice weather when nobody is inside on their computers.

    Sharon has a good point, too. If it hurts you inside too much to spar with this particular circle of commenters, perhaps it might be healthier for you to expand your blogging relationships to a more diverse group. I am NOT saying that’s what anybody wants you to do. You have to decide for yourself if this is too toxic for you to deal with right now.

    Finally, I would like to encourage you to just relax, step back, even perhaps take a day off from your computer, and regain perspective. Remember that in the scheme of life, this is just barely a blip on the radar. In 5 years from now, it won’t matter one bit.

    Keep smiling, Slarti. Life is good.

  6. Mack Says:

    I don’t get this post at all. I’ve read you for awhile now, and so I know that you are incredibly smart and perceptive. Surely you have encountered this before. Hutch has it right, a misplaced comma can change your whole meaning sometimes. My humor doesn’t always translate well. Those are but two of the limitations of a blog format. Buck up, restate your case if it is truly important to you. But this “swearing off” strikes me as manipulative, a ploy designed to elicit responses from your friends to affirm your importance. I had you pegged as someone who didn’t need alot of affirmation.

    It’s clear that we do not agree on many issues of the day, but, had I been asked, I would have likened you to Roger A, more than Symantix. Your posts are thoughtful, and I have never seen you be intentionally rude. Anyway, Ginger’s advice may be on the money here. I jokingly refer to times when I am misunderstood as low points in my personal biorythm. I turn off my computer, and busy myself with other things. Soon, I’m drawn to write or respond to what someone else has to say, and I jump back in. Do what works for you, man. We are all going to be here regardless.
    Be well.

  7. malia Says:

    What they all said!

  8. Katherine Coble Says:

    I also wanted to say that my humour almost NEVER comes across as funny.

    I’d like to believe that it’s everyone else’s fault. ;-p


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