Blink Of An Eye

March 9, 2007.  I wanted to mark this day down, because something happened last night that was simultaneously mundane and profound, something that makes me very sad, and at the same time very proud.  It was a little thing.  It was a huge thing.

 Last night, the kids put themselves to bed.

Lintilla and I were both tired, so we laid in bed a while last night while the kids played with the dog on the floor.  And before we knew it, we had both fallen asleep.  I woke in a panic about an hour later (our light was still on, but there was no noise coming from the floor), so I got up and checked around.  Zaphod was in his bed, sound asleep.  Trillian was in hers.  I went back to our room, an turned out the light.

This time, it took me quite a while to get to sleep.

This was the first night without getting cups of water to put on the nightstand.  No bedtime stories.  No closing of the closet door to keep monsters at bay. No goodnight “HugAndKiss” (you have to say it that way). 

They just put themselves to bed.  This makes me sad.  This makes me proud.

As happy as I am for all the new births in our community lately, I get to be the Shleprock.  It would behoove our new young parents to remember that our kids are not “ours”; they do not belong to us.  They belong to God, and he lets us have them in our lives for a while.  We adoptive parents are acutely aware of this.  Oh, sure, we get to pass along our language, and our values (whether they stick or not), and most of you get to pass along your DNA. 

When they are babies, we celebrate each new “accomplishment”: rolling over, crawling, babbling, talking, walking, eating from the “big” chair, moving to a “big” bed.  What we don’t realize at the time is that every one of these accomplishments is also a tiny step away from us.  Each one of them, in their own way is happy, and sad, and mundane and profound.

Why am I going on like this?  I don’t know.  It’s hard to express what I’m feeling.  I’m in a zone right now where I am very aware of the stuff of life.  Kids do that to you.  Happy and Sad, worried and proud, eupohoric and depressed all at the same time.  But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Even if it only lasts for a blink of an eye.  

Advertisements
Posted in Kids. 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Blink Of An Eye”

  1. hutchmo Says:

    Slart-meister, you are one eloquent daddio.

  2. newscoma Says:

    It’s weird, isn’t it?
    Kids growing up right in front of our eyes and then all of the sudden you realize that for every stride they make forward, there is something lost as well.
    It is such an odd and painful, yet lovely thing.
    John is right, you are eloquent.

  3. sistasmiff Says:

    That’s why I cringe when people talk about wanting “babies” because that whole trip is so short in the scheme of parenting. I’m at such an odd place in the parenting thing that, to me, has been the least joyful part of the whole thing. I was great with them when they were babies and then schoolaged and all that, but, this teenaged thing is about to kill me.

  4. Sharon Cobb Says:

    Slart,
    I couldn’t find your email address. I hope you will check out my post this morning.
    We can all make a very positive change for kids in Tennessee.
    Thanks!
    Sharon
    PS–Please email me your email address!

  5. Nashville is Talking » Not Ours Says:

    […] All the new wriggly pink things in our midst have caused our Slarti to say: As happy as I am for all the new births in our community lately, I get to be the Shleprock. It would behoove our new young parents to remember that our kids are not “ours”; they do not belong to us. They belong to God, and he lets us have them in our lives for a while. We adoptive parents are acutely aware of this. Oh, sure, we get to pass along our language, and our values (whether they stick or not), and most of you get to pass along your DNA. […]

  6. jeff atwood Says:

    great point – i had one of our girls tell me the other “daddy i don’t need you…” Now that was about getting going on a swing in the backyard – I immediately flashed forward 10 years and heard it in a thousand different context’s

  7. malia Says:

    I’ll remember this when I’m putting them to bed tonight! It gives me hope and makes me a little bit sad at the same time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: