I thought she was just kidding.
Lintilla has signed the kids up for “White Gloves and Party Manners“. I don’t know if I can handle the fallout. Here’s a description of the class:
Since 2000, Davis and her partner, former fashion director Evelyn Moore, have been teaching the children’s manners class “White Gloves and Party Manners.” Designed for groups of 5- to 8-year-olds and 9- to 12-year-olds, the course teaches kids — both boys and girls — etiquette essentials like how to perform at a wedding, how to be a good guest at someone’s house, the proper way to do introductions, the importance of handwritten thank-you cards, visual poise, how to carry yourself on the telephone, and good grooming.
Oh, Trillian will do just fine. She’s the “aim to please” child, extremely teachable. Zaphod, well he’s another story altogether. 10 years old, and he’s already as snarky, cynical, and angst-ridden as any 16-year-old goth kid. He doesn’t take well to doing things he enjoys, if a parent is making him do them. When James Dobson wrote “The Strong Willed Child”, he had Zaphod in mind.
He’s a good kid. He’s smarter than I, and when he puts his mind to something, Heaven and Earth cannot stop him till he finishes his quest. But his role models are Happy Gilmore and Spongebob Squarepants. (That’s another subject for another day: why all the protagonists on Nickelodean are perpetual smarta**es, and all the parents idiots?). He has a way of talking that many would consider “sassy” at the least. We’ve tried to curtail this with punishments, rewards, and all things in between, but the only thing that seems to work is taking away the TV. Then we have to deal with what seems to be a pitiful little heroin addict.
Anyway, I know this class will do him good. I come from a different circle of people than Lintilla, and when we first got married, I was completely lost in social situations. I had to watch her at dinner to figure out which fork to use. I still don’t have the proper way to introduce people figured out yet.
So, I’m happy that the kids are doing this, even though it (IMHO) is a little costly. Did any of you send your kids to a class like this? Charm school, maybe?
When Lintilla was telling me about this, she said how she had spoken to the lady that runs the program, and tried to warn her about Zaphod’s attitude.
“Oh, he’ll come around”, she said.
I could almost picture her rubbing her hands together, with a hearty Mwuahahaha!!!
I might need you to pray for Zaphod.