Comments on: A Bar Mitzvah? Are You Crazy?

By: dell

dell — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:08:07 +0000

Interesting enough, a year ago I had some of the same conversations, thoughts, and concerns surrrounding my now 14 year old son. My wife and I were set on having a Bar Barakah ceremony/party for him which would include family, friends, and our church family, however about 8 months back I got involved with several men from a few different churches in my area and we decided to “do a study” on spiritual rites of boy to men. Long story short we all(5) of us men did a 6 to 7 week study called Raising Modern Day Knights, which concluded with a camping trip including our boys. At this camping trip each young man received affirmations from their individual fathers, plus a certificate which commemorated the moment. My aforementioned son happened to be the oldest of all of the boys so as a group of men we decided that it required a little more than the others. His affirming included everything the others received plus the laying on of hands from all of the dads, individual prayers, and a gift from me(i gave him a gold cross-which to this day he wears ALL THE TIME). Hopefully this may give you an idea or two of how to create the moment of positive memory for your son. Either way he is blessed to have a parent who is thinking of him in this way.

By: Let’s Throw The Jews Under The Bus! « Just Another Pretty Farce

Let’s Throw The Jews Under The Bus! « Just Another Pretty Farce — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:10:25 +0000

[...] what I took from large portions of this post over at Slarti’s place. He’s talking about having a Bar Mitzvah for his 13-year-old [...]

By: Katherine Coble

Katherine Coble — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:40:55 +0000

Well, I’ll try. Actually I started to try here but then realised it was gonna be a long winded thing with more scope than just addressing your post so I’m moving it over to my blog, refining it and hoping it shows up. (Thank you, WordPress, for eating my posts.)

By: Eric

Eric — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:10:39 +0000

Slarti,

Maybe you should leave it at the confirmation they will receive, and you stand up and say how pleased you are in your son. Make the confirmation also the “coming of age” ceremony.

That way you won’t be offending any Jewish friends or those that hold to the Judaism belief system.

By: Warrior

Warrior — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:09:12 +0000

Slarti, Eldridge actually goes through a “rite of passage” with his sons. He talks about it in “Way of the Wild Heart”. I’ll drop by a copy if you’d like. Just give me a call.

By: bridgett

bridgett — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:02:59 +0000

Maybe what you’re trying to create is a male version of this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinceañera

By: Slartibartfast

Slartibartfast — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:40:43 +0000

Kat, I truly don’t understand what you mean.

Hopefully you can elaborate.

By: Katherine Coble

Katherine Coble — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:20:42 +0000

I guess nm said what I was going to say, kind of.

I think that it is sort of offensive, actually, that you frame this question this way.

OK, not a Bar Mitzvah, exactly; we aren’t Jewish, and a central tenet of our religion holds that he will not be a “Son of the Law” – he will instead one day be freed from the law. Yet, as with so many things, we can find the roots of “right” ways to do things in the Jewish religious traditions.

This paragraph seems stunningly anti-Semetic to me.

By: nm

nm — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:31:44 +0000

Considering that you explicitly, and frequently, refer to Jewish Law as a heavy yoke from which Christians are freed, I don’t think that there’s any way that you can have your son become bar mitzvah. (A bar or bat mitzvah refers to the person who has come of age, not to the celebration: it’s “a bar/bat mitzvah party,” not “a bar/bat mitzvah”.) You see, a bar/bat mitzvah, as an adult, has taken on him/herself the observance of the very commandments that you explicitly reject. This is symbolized and formalized by calling the child to (the public reading of) the Torah (which is both Law and Scripture in the Christian sense), for his/her first adult participation in one of the central religious rituals of Judaism. From that time on, he/she will be responsible for observing all of the commandments.

Have a blessing/adulthood ceremony, by all means — it’s a wonderful idea. But calling it a Bar Mitzvah ceremony ought to be out. In fact, adopting any Jewish ceremony, or calling any ceremony you participate in by the name of a Jewish observance, ought to be out for you, given that you aren’t a Jew and reject Jewish ritual.