Comments on: Throw Away The Bar http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/ Smart is easy. Good is Hard. Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:34:11 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: nedwilliams http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8294 nedwilliams Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:31:29 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8294 Great stuff, slarti. Great stuff, slarti.

]]> By: nm http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8261 nm Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:31:54 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8261 Sure. I'd say that marriage, and parenthood/childhood* too, and holidays and life and all, are always out of our control in important and mysterious ways. But, ya know, there are important parts that are often (always?) mysteriously within our control. One of our jobs as humans, children, revelers, whatever is to learn what these latter parts are, and work on them. Because when you make something a little better for people you love, that's perfect. At least, right then and there it is. *in the sense of being a child to one's parents Sure. I’d say that marriage, and parenthood/childhood* too, and holidays and life and all, are always out of our control in important and mysterious ways. But, ya know, there are important parts that are often (always?) mysteriously within our control. One of our jobs as humans, children, revelers, whatever is to learn what these latter parts are, and work on them. Because when you make something a little better for people you love, that’s perfect. At least, right then and there it is.

*in the sense of being a child to one’s parents

]]> By: Slartibartfast http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8258 Slartibartfast Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:35:34 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8258 nm - I think we're saying the same thing, I guess (this is, in my mind, more than about holidays, but they are a great starting point) I was really speaking about eliminating the whole mindset of "I'm not happy because my life (my marriage, my being a parent, etc) isn't what I'd hoped it would be". I've been asking myself a lot lately: do we live our lives or does life happen to us? And like Forrest Gump, I've come to the conclusion that it's a little of both. It's a scary thing, admitting that one isn't completely in charge of how his life unfolds - but it is totally true. I think this is extremely important in marriage. We can never, ever live up to some perfect ideal. Life is too messy - stuff happens, people are imperfect. I'm advocating that we stop trying ask our marriages to live up to some unreachable ideal, and, like I said, let life surprise us. That's also really important in parenthood. I've said it in the past: as a father, my job is more that of a gardener than an architect. I cannot shape my kids and mold them to my will. They are going to grow up to be whatever it is they are going to be. All I can do is nurture that growth. Understanding this fact prevents much frustration. Accepting it is quite liberating. Sorry, I've gotten all philosophical. Seems to be where my mind is going today. nm – I think we’re saying the same thing, I guess (this is, in my mind, more than about holidays, but they are a great starting point) I was really speaking about eliminating the whole mindset of “I’m not happy because my life (my marriage, my being a parent, etc) isn’t what I’d hoped it would be”.

I’ve been asking myself a lot lately: do we live our lives or does life happen to us? And like Forrest Gump, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a little of both. It’s a scary thing, admitting that one isn’t completely in charge of how his life unfolds – but it is totally true.

I think this is extremely important in marriage. We can never, ever live up to some perfect ideal. Life is too messy – stuff happens, people are imperfect. I’m advocating that we stop trying ask our marriages to live up to some unreachable ideal, and, like I said, let life surprise us.

That’s also really important in parenthood. I’ve said it in the past: as a father, my job is more that of a gardener than an architect. I cannot shape my kids and mold them to my will. They are going to grow up to be whatever it is they are going to be. All I can do is nurture that growth. Understanding this fact prevents much frustration. Accepting it is quite liberating.

Sorry, I’ve gotten all philosophical. Seems to be where my mind is going today.

]]> By: nm http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8256 nm Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:11:45 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8256 Welllll ... if I can draw on my memories of non-Christmas holidays, I'd say that what you're talking about isn't throwing away the bar, it's just making sure that it's the right bar for you and your family. Welllll … if I can draw on my memories of non-Christmas holidays, I’d say that what you’re talking about isn’t throwing away the bar, it’s just making sure that it’s the right bar for you and your family.

]]> By: Susie http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8253 Susie Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:24:30 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8253 Yep, we need to write a song called "Let Go, Let God" because He is already there taking care of all our needs in advance...right? (It could rock, lol) Yep, we need to write a song called “Let Go, Let God” because He is already there taking care of all our needs in advance…right? (It could rock, lol)

]]> By: newscoma http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8251 newscoma Fri, 30 Nov 2007 12:19:09 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/throw-away-the-bar/#comment-8251 As you know, I LOVE Merry Christmas from The Family as well. Sort of brought us together. That, and my lack of knowledge about Nascar. With that said, you are right. I am not stressing about the holidays. I used to, then I got older and I realize that sometimes I create reasons NOT to be happy. This year (after a really yucky sorta summer) I've decided not to fret about it. Life is what it is. We better make the best of it, imho. As you know, I LOVE Merry Christmas from The Family as well.

Sort of brought us together. That, and my lack of knowledge about Nascar.
With that said, you are right. I am not stressing about the holidays. I used to, then I got older and I realize that sometimes I create reasons NOT to be happy. This year (after a really yucky sorta summer) I’ve decided not to fret about it. Life is what it is. We better make the best of it, imho.

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