Comments on: Infantile http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/ Smart is easy. Good is Hard. Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:34:11 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Barry http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1703 Barry Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:45:28 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1703 Who said that had to be the only description of someone's love for another? To cherish someone doesn't mean they exist in a vacuum - indeed, it's a jumping off point to that whole list you just gave, CE. Who said that had to be the only description of someone’s love for another? To cherish someone doesn’t mean they exist in a vacuum – indeed, it’s a jumping off point to that whole list you just gave, CE.

]]> By: CE Petro http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1654 CE Petro Sat, 21 Apr 2007 00:51:09 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1654 Ginger, to me, a marriage is much, much more than holding someone dear to them, or showing affection. That's only one element of a marriage or relationship, at least in my marriage. My husband and I are lovers, we're friends, we're critics, we're partners (literally in business and at home). And, quite frankly, if my husband was to just cherish me, it limits the relationship that we actually have. Our relationship is far more encompassing than just loving each other. Ginger, to me, a marriage is much, much more than holding someone dear to them, or showing affection. That’s only one element of a marriage or relationship, at least in my marriage. My husband and I are lovers, we’re friends, we’re critics, we’re partners (literally in business and at home). And, quite frankly, if my husband was to just cherish me, it limits the relationship that we actually have. Our relationship is far more encompassing than just loving each other.

]]> By: Barry http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1653 Barry Sat, 21 Apr 2007 00:47:27 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1653 I think some of us are assigning meanings to words than simply don't belong. I think some of us are assigning meanings to words than simply don’t belong.

]]> By: Ginger http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1648 Ginger Fri, 20 Apr 2007 20:33:27 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1648 sheesh. According to Webster, the definition of "cherish" is: to hold dear : feel or show affection for; to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely. How can that be a negative? I think we are splitting hairs, aren't we? sheesh. According to Webster, the definition of “cherish” is: to hold dear : feel or show affection for; to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.

How can that be a negative? I think we are splitting hairs, aren’t we?

]]> By: CE Petro http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1647 CE Petro Fri, 20 Apr 2007 20:14:07 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1647 Slat, you're right on the money that cherishing is objectifying. As an individual woman I want to be treated with humanity, and in a marriage I want to be treated with equality. when you think about marriage being a partnership, a partnership (in a legal sense) is equal, in the most simplest of terms. why shouldn't' that carry through to marriage. MM, what image comes to your mind, when you hear/read the word cherish? A cherub? The Madonna? or loving hands being upheld (palms up)? I think we can trace objections to words and phrases to the images we associate with a particular idea (word/phrase), as is the case with idea of being cherished. In my mind, any man that would "cherish" me is not my equal, thus would not make a good partner for me. Yes, I find being called "cherished" objectionable, as much as I find the phrase "you're the best thing that ever happened to me," equally objectionable. No woman (or man) is a "thing." Overall, Slat, I'm glad you learned something from this whole episode. Kudos to you for opening your eyes. I just hope more people follow your lead. Slat, you’re right on the money that cherishing is objectifying. As an individual woman I want to be treated with humanity, and in a marriage I want to be treated with equality. when you think about marriage being a partnership, a partnership (in a legal sense) is equal, in the most simplest of terms. why shouldn’t’ that carry through to marriage.

MM, what image comes to your mind, when you hear/read the word cherish? A cherub? The Madonna? or loving hands being upheld (palms up)?

I think we can trace objections to words and phrases to the images we associate with a particular idea (word/phrase), as is the case with idea of being cherished.

In my mind, any man that would “cherish” me is not my equal, thus would not make a good partner for me. Yes, I find being called “cherished” objectionable, as much as I find the phrase “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” equally objectionable. No woman (or man) is a “thing.”

Overall, Slat, I’m glad you learned something from this whole episode. Kudos to you for opening your eyes. I just hope more people follow your lead.

]]> By: Kate O' http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1645 Kate O' Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:46:52 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1645 I know you already struck the phrase out, so I'm not trying to belabor the point, but I just wanted to add that I think nm has it spot on with the difference between cherishing someone and putting that person on a pedestal. I feel cherished by Karsten a lot of the time, and it makes me wiggle with glee, but sometimes when I feel like he's putting me on a pedestal it flusters and even frustrates me, because I feel like he's not seeing me for me, with all my flaws and imperfections and loving me anyway, but instead seeing some bizarrely perfect version of me that I could never be. And I don't feel cherished in those moments, but rather kind of alone and nervous and misunderstood. As further anecdotal evidence, a while back on a women's mailing list I used to co-own, there came to be a pattern of sharing stories with each other about difficult things we were going through, followed by many of us reassuring one another using the acronym "YDTBFC," which stood for "you deserve to be f'ing cherished." I know you already struck the phrase out, so I’m not trying to belabor the point, but I just wanted to add that
I think nm has it spot on with the difference between cherishing someone and putting that person on a pedestal. I feel cherished by Karsten a lot of the time, and it makes me wiggle with glee, but sometimes when I feel like he’s putting me on a pedestal it flusters and even frustrates me, because I feel like he’s not seeing me for me, with all my flaws and imperfections and loving me anyway, but instead seeing some bizarrely perfect version of me that I could never be. And I don’t feel cherished in those moments, but rather kind of alone and nervous and misunderstood.

As further anecdotal evidence, a while back on a women’s mailing list I used to co-own, there came to be a pattern of sharing stories with each other about difficult things we were going through, followed by many of us reassuring one another using the acronym “YDTBFC,” which stood for “you deserve to be f’ing cherished.”

]]> By: Katherine Coble http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1639 Katherine Coble Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:15:39 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1639 <i>In other words, if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.</i> That'd be better known as "object impermenance." In other words, if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

That’d be better known as “object impermenance.”

]]> By: Slartibartfast http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1635 Slartibartfast Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:14:51 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1635 Dang it, I did it again. I should have just left the disclaimer out :) Dang it, I did it again.

I should have just left the disclaimer out :)

]]> By: lasthome http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1634 lasthome Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:10:40 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1634 Makes perfect sense to me. I wonder why someone would confuse one with the other? Maybe it's a regional/cultural idiom. Ah, English, the language of total comprehensatilability. Makes perfect sense to me. I wonder why someone would confuse one with the other? Maybe it’s a regional/cultural idiom.

Ah, English, the language of total comprehensatilability.

]]> By: Ginger http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1633 Ginger Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:08:59 +0000 http://shootthemoose.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/infantile/#comment-1633 I love the word "cherish"...and would love to be cherished...I don't see how that is an offensive word. I love the word “cherish”…and would love to be cherished…I don’t see how that is an offensive word.

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