Comments on: Different

By: Dani

Dani — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 01:10:29 +0000

You sound exactly like my husband. God bless you both.

By: sistasmiff

sistasmiff — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:19:08 +0000

My husband would get sex 5 times a day if he’d make the slightest bit of effort in helping me out. That’s something that, going on 18 years of marriage, he’s never gotten: Show me you care by making an effort. Whether it’s pretending to be interested in my day or saying “Wow, that trashcan is full and needs to be emptied. I think I’ll do that right now” or “She fixed supper for us, therefore I can perhaps clean up the dishes so she doesn’t have to. That would be fair and might get me some nookie.” I keep thinking one of these days he’s going to get that, but, it hasn’t happened yet.

By: malia

malia — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:02:14 +0000

That’s not a terrible thing to say! (the housework leading to sex comment) It’s only terrible if it’s done as a way to manipulate your spouse. But yes, some days there’s nothin’ sexier than when my husband cleans up the kitchen after dinner because that means I didn’t have to do it and I spent less time doing stuff around the house so I have more time (energy and desire) to do stuff in the bedroom.

By: Lynnster

Lynnster — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 19:46:49 +0000

My other half is almost OCD about cleaning. Actually, he *IS* OCD about cleaning and housework.

And since I am at the complete opposite end of the scale, you bet I find that sexy!

By: hutchmo

hutchmo — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:28:38 +0000

uhmmm..did somebody say sex???

By: Slartibartfast

Slartibartfast — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:01:18 +0000

Kat, that’s fascinating, especially this:

You can’t make windex and detergent sexy, and any sexiness arising from trashbags is unseemly.

Sista has pretty much convinced me to start a series on this blog, aimed at men, about the joys of domestication. One of my lines of thinking is to tell the men that, sometimes, helping with the housework can lead to sex. I know to say such a thing to my (let’s face it, mostly female) readership will seem like a terrible thing to say, but to a man, it will make perfect sense. And it’s true, too.

By: KC

KC — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:34:48 +0000

I’m married to a man who does housework, loves cooking and loves child-rearing (in theory). This has never made him less of a man in my eyes. And believe me, I have all the facts about just HOW much of a man he is…

Ivy said something about companies tailoring their marketing toward women because of decision-making and buying-power. That’s true to a degree, but as someone who worked for a long time in marketing I’d also like to throw something else in the mix. In fact, I may even blog about it later.

But one of the reasons for the popularity of Mommy blogs, women’s magazines, etc. as a marketing tool is that women are generally shown to be more responsive to fear-based marketing.

Pick up any woman’s magazine. Look for an article entitled “the 10 everyday household items that may kill you” or “what your doctor doesn’t tell you about the common cold” and you’ll find it.

Watch most commercials directed toward products traditionally used by women, and you’ll see the fear motivator clearly. (Our maxi pad doesn’t leak, our trashbags won’t break and spill trash on your floor, other mothers won’t laugh at your child’s dingy clothes.)

The “dad” marketing tool has traditionally been sex. You can’t make windex and detergent sexy, and any sexiness arising from trashbags is unseemly. So those products aren’t advertised that way. So “daddy” communities aren’t created as often, because who wants to advertise beer and Ford trucks in a housework venue?

It’s not that society thinks men like you are gay. It’s that society doesn’t know how to sell you something so they aren’t interested in your demographic so nothing gets created as a demotrap for ad dollars.

That’s all it is.

By: Nashville is Talking » Different is Good, but it’s Still Different

Nashville is Talking » Different is Good, but it’s Still Different — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:33:00 +0000

[...] This post from Slartibartfast deserves all the eyeballs it can get: I’m a man who loves cooking, housework, and child-rearing. Interestingly, whenever I say that, I have to add the caveat “but I’m not gay, and I still like sports”. Long about the time I hit puberty, I realized that I was “different”. This is important: I’m in a pretty extreme minority, and I can’t expect society to treat me like I’m not. I could get mad at Good Housekeeping for gearing their articles and advertising solely to women, but then again, why wouldn’t they? What percentage of men would be drawn to read Good Housekeeping? Less than 5, I’m sure. It wouldn’t make sense for them not to cater to 95% of their readership. [...]

By: Busy Mom

Busy Mom — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 16:57:00 +0000

Nobody puts Slarti in a corner.

By: sistasmiff

sistasmiff — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 15:08:35 +0000

I think you need to start some sort of class for men on how to get involved and help around the house so your wife doesn’t end up in the nuthouse. No joke.