Why do good girls like bad boys?
January 19, 2005 — SlartibartfastMichele at a small victory posted this followup to a previous discussion about what is sexually attractive. My first reaction to the pictures she posted (of men she considered sexy, hot, whatever) was that all of these men looked like they had just gotten out on parole. And the very least, they appeared to be from “the wrong side of the tracks”. I started to shrug it off, but for some reason it was really bugging me.
Then it hit me: Michele had opened an old wound that can never really heal. She reminded me of some of my worst memories of high school. She reminded me of the main reason I will never truly understand women.
Back then, we geeks at my high school had a saying, “Trans Ams or Yamahas”. It was our way of articulating why we were always spurned by the opposite sex: the best girls always went for hunky jocks or neer-do-well delinquent-wannabees on motorcycles. I still remember all those high school dances: half the pretty girls dancing with their jock boyfriends and the other half out back smoking pot with their freak boyfriends. (In my day they were called freaks. They’ve also been known as greasers, hippies, drug-dealers - but through the generations they’ve still been basically the same people). And along one wall you had us geeky boys, the other wall was lined with fat girls from the band. Neither side would cross over to ask the other to dance, that would be like admitting defeat.
The jock-attraction I can lve with; it makes perfect sense both in an evolutionary and societal context. This always works out in the end, because the jocks always end up working for us geeks later in life. But the freaks, that was another story. I just didn’t, and still don’t, get it. When you think about it, this attitude is EVERYWHERE in the female side of society. In bodice-ripper novels, the love interest is ALWAYS the rouge-stranger. In chick-flicks, the girls ALWAYS leaves the clean-cut rich guy for the guy from the wrong side of the tracks.
I’ve had my own theories aboutht this phenomena through the years. For the longest time, I figured it was a way of Repudiating The Father. After all, Daddy wanted her to marry the blonde lawyer. And she has Daddy issues. Hence, she ends up with Christian Slater. But now I’m not so sure. My wife is no help, she goes for the clean-cut type.
So what is it ladies? Is it the sense of danger? Adventure? Do you just like to get slapped around? I’m seriously asking you to help heal this wound. Why do good girls like bad boys?
January 19, 2005 at 12:56 pm
Hope you don’t mind that I copied your post (with credit)in my “Sampler” blog.
January 29, 2005 at 1:53 am
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August 8, 2007 at 12:29 pm
i think the reason so many girls go for the bad boy type,
is the adventure of it all.
we like the agressive way they pursue us,
so we feel like we’re worth so much more.
also,
the bad boy is bound to have lots of nail-biting adventures,
where we get to stay at home and play the fretful wife.
its what i think, at least.
August 9, 2007 at 10:15 am
I suspect it has to do with the “I don’t care what you think attitude.”
There is certainly something attractive about someone who is determined to shun societal dogmas and express themselves instead of repressing who they are to fit into what society wishes them to conform to.
That’s not to say that “rebels” aren’t conforming to their own society/culture, or to say that “nice guys” ARE necessarily conforming. Just to say that the image of a rebel is a non-conformist one.
Personally, while not female so there could be a difference there, I prefer nice guys over the bad boys.
And you seriously need to get some spam protection installed.
August 9, 2007 at 10:56 am
dolphin, this is a very, very old comment thread
I imported the spam from Blogger.
I guess I could get around to cleaning it up sometime.
August 9, 2007 at 11:19 am
hehe, that’s what I get from clicking around the Recent Comments, er… “Recently Bagged Mooses”
October 3, 2007 at 11:56 am
Eh, Slarti, I just read this post. Yes, you ought to clean out the spam. But mostly I just want to say that if you wouldn’t cross the room to talk to the “fat girls from the band” you weren’t being such a Nice Guy(tm), and that part of what the “bad boys” had going for them is that they would talk to the females who interested them. Making them not so bad, and in some ways better/nicer than the Nice Guy(tm)s.
October 5, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’m really not an expert on this sort of thing, as I believe something is wrong with my brain because I have never actually had a crush/a thing for or whatever, for a guy. (Or a girl, thankfully.) Of course I notice things about people and think, “Oh, he’s cute/handsome,” the way anyone sees a pretty girl in a store and thinks “Oh, she’s pretty.” I believe that’s just normal. But I HAVE noticed that the “freaks” tend to catch my eye more often. A little background on me: I’m LDS (the Mormons), have never dated, drank, or done drugs, and the fullest extent to my criminal record is j-walking. I’d consider that good. I truly, truly believe that the reason a lot of girls are attracted to those kinds of guys is because they intrigue them. Girls (at least I,) love a sense of mysteries being unraveled. They want to get to know people like that because it’s fascinating.
I don’t know if this is true for everyone, and know that everyone is different, but I hope I was a help ^_^
October 23, 2007 at 10:52 pm
This is a subject which i have thought of immensly, as well as discussed with all of my girlfriends. Currently I have a “nice guy” friend who is interested in more with me and has made that very clear. He is fun, nice, caring, and he likes me for who I am. I have a blast when we go out together, but I could just never see us being anything more than friends, though I often find myself truly wishing I could see him as more, because I know he would treat me right. Instead, I am “seeing” (if you could call it that) a guy who does not treat me with respect, only wants to hangout after a long night at the bar with his friends, and is just downright mean at times. But i still like him? why? well the conclusion I have come to for me as well as my girlfriends who do the same thing- its a self-esteem thing. We dont think highly of ourselves, so if we can get that guy who also doesnt think highly of us to love us, well then we MUST be worth it! Its all about proving to ourselves that we can get that guy who is a challenge. its all about the chase, im ashamed to say. Coming from this romantically challenged youngster it might not mean much, but its what the little experience ive had has taught me.
November 2, 2007 at 2:18 pm
i dont know about everyone else but the reason i go for bad boys is that they are so much more interesting. whenever i get in a relationship with a nice guy i just get so bored and end up cheating a lot of the time. i think if your man’s a bit naughty it keeps you on your toes, kind of spices things up a bit.
January 6, 2008 at 4:07 am
To Sophie. That statement is entirely true. It’s how u play the game. But u should get ur bitch ass beat for cheating … f****** skank!
February 5, 2008 at 11:18 am
’cause nice guys are fuckin’ boring!!
sorry…just being honest here.
March 11, 2008 at 8:43 pm
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March 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I agree with some of you that “bad-boys” are often sought after because of their intrigue. A person who would rather live by their own rules is generally more thrilling than someone who conforms to all of society’s rules and does what is expected because they think they have to. However, there is a balance that needs to be taken into consideration. Too bad gets you into trouble, and too good is rather pathetic. While everyone needs to find the balance for themselves, look at some of the more famous “bad boys.” Like Jack Sparrow, how many girls adore him? And many think Turner is hot as well, but he also breaks the rules. Gimme some replies guys, why does society look at these “less than reputable” characters as idols, when it used to be that Prince Charming was the hero?